Time with Jesus - 20 Aug. 2013
Hi all,
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The idea behind parental discipline is to
ultimately create self-discipline within your child. That means the kid has
to learn something -- your value system and the difference between right and
wrong -- that will guide him or her throughout life. So what do kids learn
from being spanked? The hitting itself doesn't teach them anything. Whether
you believe in physical punishment or not, Dr Phil has some disciplining tips
and alternatives to spanking: (by Dr Phil - Courtesy Google)
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Dr Phil
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Phyllida and Jim
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1
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Don't take out your frustrations while spanking. Ask
yourself if the spanking is truly warranted because of the child's behaviour,
or whether it's an excuse for you to have an adult temper tantrum? Are you
more prone to spank when you are in a bad mood?
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This comment is “right on”. If you are feeling angry, it’s
possible you can move the matter beyond discipline into physical abuse. When God
says “spanking will not kill the child”, it’s
only true if you are behaving responsibly. Never spank when angry!
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2
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There needs to be a sense of calmness and order in the
house. If you are spanking your kid for being physical and chaotic, aren't
you adding to the physical chaos by being physical and violent with your
child? What are you teaching them?
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A good point. If things at home are calm and peaceful, it
may be fine to give a spanking. Don’t rush into it.
Think ahead and decide whether a spanking will make a better point than a
good dressing down. Spanking should be used as a last
resort.
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3
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Make a commitment to your child's discipline. You have to do
what you say you're going to do. Consequences should be highly predictable
for your child.
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In nature, if you jump off the roof, you will “hit the
ground”. It might kill you. Keep your word. If
you say there is a consequence to an action, good or bad, stick to it.
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4
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Define your child's currency. What does he/she value? You
can withdraw a positive (take away a favorite toy) or introduce a negative
(giving a time-out) event -- but be consistent.
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As a 9 year old child, the penalty for most misdemeanours in
school was to write out Exodus 20! Always let the
punishment fit the crime, or the reward fit
the achievement.
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5
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Develop a child-level logic. For example, kids know you are
less likely to discipline them in public, so that's where they'll act out.
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In this case the need to discourage
the behaviour is vital. Be sure the child knows in advance what the
outcome of his action will be.
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6
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When you have a confrontation with your kid -- don't ever
lose! They will miss out on the opportunity to learn an important lesson if
you cave in and let them get away with a behavior that is unacceptable.
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This is right on. The rule of thumb is, “make sure you’re right before the fight”. He/she must know in advance that it is
wrong to e.g. “pull his sister’s pigtails”. He/she must know that there will be
a consequence.
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7
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Two things you should NEVER say to your child if you want
him/her to behave are: "I'll give you something to cry about," and
"Wait until your father gets home." Children can see through idle
threats and will eventually ignore them. They will also take advantage of the
fact that one parent doesn't want to deal with doling out the discipline and
tries to hand it over to the other parent.
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It is vital that both parents must speak
as one. Decide this before marriage. The question of disciplining
children needs to be agreed beforehand. Phyllida and I decided that we would
support each other, even if we disagreed! We had agreed we would sort things
out between ourselves later. No child should ever be able to get a decision
by one parent reversed by the other parent.
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| Correct error Don't rule with Terror |
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| Unacceptable behaviour |
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| The Last Resort Never in anger Always in love |
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| Listen Carefully |
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| Explain NOT inflicting PAIN |
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| Discipline must be Balanced with Love |
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| Allow a child to be child Allow a baby to be a baby Let them have Fun! |
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Matt 10:8
Freely you received, Freely give |
Time with Jesus – Tuesday, 20 August 2013
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Matt 10:8
Freely you received, Freely give |
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©
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These
devotionals are the intellectual property of Jim Strickland and copyright
protected. You are welcome to copy and distribute them to anyone provided it
is for non-commercial Christian purposes
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©
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INTRODUCTION
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DAILY
LIGHT EVENING SCRIPTURES
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DARE
TO DISCIPLINE
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Today’s meditation is fictional, but is invariably
true. Bad things happen. Kids get killed walking across the motor-way. They
take chances. Sometimes the cost to you is your life. I’m reminded of an old
poem. Not one of mine, But it went; Here lies the body of Jonathan Grey. He died defending
his right of way; He was right, dead right as he drove along. But he’s just
as dead as if he were wrong! I heard that little poem when I was
in primary school. Sadly, it’s still true.
The accident statistics in South Africa for the
“Christmas holidays” are shocking. Lunatic drivers, taxi drivers and drunk
drivers create carnage on our roads each and every year. Mostly, it’s the
perpetrators that get killed. But in many cases the victim is an ordinary
driver; sober, alert and not over tired. But they get killed by those who
should not be driving. Frankly, I believe that drunk drivers, who cause the
death of others, should be tried for murder. Furthermore, those who are
convicted of drunken driving offences should have their cars confiscated and
face a very stiff penalty.
Sometimes accidents happen as a result of poor road
maintenance. In this case, the local authority should be responsible for all
costs associated with the accident. Perhaps I’m a bit paranoid about this?
But we as a nation must bring down accident figures. It should not be
optional. Our first Scripture takes an imaginary look at a scenario all too
familiar to most of us. When the law and/or God’s Word is ignored, it could
bring death around our ears. 12 There
is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12 ESV
There is
another situation that needs to be raised at this point. I’m referring to the
disciplining of children. God’s Word makes it very clear: 24 Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to
discipline them. Proverbs 13:24 NLT
Obviously,
discipline should never be child abuse. That must never be the case. But
children need discipline to grow into responsible, well balanced adults.
Unfortunately, in most countries of the Western World, the law has been
adjusted such that if you attempt to discipline a child – spank his/her
bottom, it is seen as illegal. Many parents risk the wrath of the law by spanking
their children anyway. They refuse to be intimidated by a law that restricts
their ability to bring up children God’s way. The danger comes when little
Tommy or Mary complains to the authorities that their father and/or mother
have spanked them. So their children grow up to have no regard for the law or
the “rights” of other people. There is little doubt in my mind that society
is now “reaping what was sown”. A society where children and young people run
amuck and cannot be controlled. The incidents in Norway and USA are good
examples of what can happen when children are left to their own devices.
Perhaps I’m not a good example, but the fact is my Dad was not shy about
loving and the need to discipline. I got a hiding when I deserved it. Most of
my school fellows received the same type of discipline from their parents. We
all grew into manhood (it was an all boy’s school) and have become responsible
citizens. Discipline is good!
Jim
& Phyllida
Strickland.
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12 There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.
Proverbs 14:12 ESV
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Go to the next corner. Turn left and
then turn right.
You should be on the proper road, to
get you home tonight.
The route is full of potholes and some
of them are deep.
But if you pay attention and do not
fall asleep,
You’ll be as safe as houses and get
there in good time.
If you decide to drive top speed, your
life’s not worth a dime.
So easy on the gasoline; sit back;
enjoy the drive.
But if you doze and fall asleep, you
won’t get there alive.
These words were in the manual and it
was good advice.
Provided that you follow it, your
journey will be nice.
But if you play the macho and try to
beat the clock,
You’ll do yourself an injury and smash
into a rock.
But Tommy wouldn’t listen; He knew
just what to do.
He thought “I’m indestructible; my car is still
brand new.
I’m sure that it can reach the ton if
I increase the speed.
A big rush of adrenaline is just the
thing I need.”
And so he put his foot down. His car
was very quick.
He thought that he was floating and
felt a wee bit sick.
“Tanked up” drinking alcohol; far
higher than a kite.
To make things worse, he couldn’t see while
driving late at night!
Oblivious of danger he watched his
“speedo” climb.
One hundred; then one twenty. He heard
alarm bells chime.
But in his drunken stupor, they didn’t
reach his brain.
And long before he knew it, he’d
smashed into a train.
He’d written off the motor car. His
body crushed and bent.
They put him in an ambulance. To
hospital they went.
The doctors had a look at him, but he
was D.O.A
Although his family prayed for him,
there wasn’t any way,
To snatch him from the jaws of death.
It had too strong a grip.
And he had paid the penalty. This was
his final trip.
His friends all gathered round him and
eulogised his life.
But that could not restore him to
family and wife.
God gave him ample warning in the
manual that day.
It was his own stupidity that took his
life away.
The moral of this story is, keep
yourself alert.
Let the Father lead you; and keep you
from such hurt.
Listen to Him carefully. He will not
let you down.
And you will not be D.O.A. when you
arrive in town.
Never mind the voices you hear inside
your head.
Mostly it’s the devil and he desires
you dead.
Take all your decisions and ask God
please to show,
The way you should be living and what
you need to know!
Jim Strickland
Written 20th August 2012
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26 Anyone who trusts in himself is foolish.
But a person who lives wisely is kept safe.
Proverbs 28:26 NIrV
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Nun. 1 Your word
is like a lamp that shows me the way. It is like a light that guides me.
Psalms 119:105 NIrV
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4 Though people tried to bribe me, I have
kept myself from the ways of the violent through what your lips have commanded.
Psalms 17:4 TNIV
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1 "If a prophet or a dreamer of dreams
arises among you and gives you a sign or a wonder, 2 and the sign or wonder that he tells you comes to pass,
and if he says, 'Let us go after other gods,' which you have not known, 'and
let us serve them,' 3 you shall
not listen to the words of that prophet or that dreamer of dreams. For the
LORD your God is testing you, to know whether you love the LORD your God with
all your heart and with all your soul. 4 You shall walk after the LORD your God and fear him and
keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold
fast to him.
Deuteronomy 13:1-4 ESV
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8 The LORD says, "I will instruct you.
I will teach you the way that you should go. I will advise you as my eyes
watch over you.
Psalms 32:8 GW
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