Time with Jesus - Friday, 13
January 2012
Hi all,
The
majority of people I’ve met do not like confrontation. I’m not too keen on it
myself. We want people to like us. In fact we seldom say anything which others
may perceive as offensive. So we try to keep a foot in both camps. If Tom and
Dick disagree with each other, we don’t want either side to think we are not
with them. So we smile and say the “right thing” to both hoping that they won’t
check out what we have said to them individually. It’s hypocrisy but we seem to
be able to live with it.
We
see this sort of thing depicted on many of our TV shows. A group will be
discussing something together usually associated with what the boss will do or
say. The comments are seldom complimentary. Then, when the boss makes an
appearance, we smile politely and suddenly abandon our opinions and go along
with the boss. We don’t want to get the boss angry. So we smile at him and
pretend that nothing is wrong.
I
think this is a fair description of what most people do. We’ve seen it being
done from the sidelines. To be honest, I’ve done it myself more times than I
care to admit. The problem is fear of the unknown. How many times has your wife
said to you, or have you said to your wife, don’t mention that in front of ……..
You know how touchy he/she gets when that’s mentioned. So we say nothing.
As
husbands and wives we quickly learn what not to say in front of him/her. We
begin married life being able to talk about anything and everything. Then,
something is said which sparks a bad reaction. So we learn not to speak about
that again. It’s helpful to say that we have closed that particular door in a
relationship. As we continue to live together, we close more and more doors.
Finally we have nothing left to talk about and the marriage fails.
To
further complicate this, we find that our spouse gets angry if we keep on
coming back to the same thing. In the early days of our marriage, I discovered
that if I mentioned something about a particular member of the family, I’d get
an angry reaction from Phyllida. Incidentally, she had much the same problem
with me! There was a very good recommendation on fireworks. It read, “Light the
blue touch paper and stand well back”. So Phyllida and I did our best to keep
clear of the “blue touch paper”. If we did, there could be an angry explosion!
The
fact remains that we must be able to deal with anger. But how do we do it?
Ignoring the problem doesn’t help. We have to learn to do it with tact,
patience and humility. We have to learn to be diplomatic in our approach.
What
few realise is the Bible has a great deal to say about anger and how to deal
with angry people. For instance, what do I say when Phyllida comes home with a
new hairdo that looks as though she has been dragged through a bush backwards?
I daren’t tell her that it’s hideous. In any case, it’s a perception and we may
not agree on this issue. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’d better
stop looking!
But
there are ways of dealing with an angry man. As a consultant in the power
station industry I’ve had to learn how to deal with touchy clients. Today’s
meditation looks at this.
Blessings
Jim & Phyllida Strickland.
Dealing With The Angry Man
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It’s always hard apologising to
an angry man!
Even coming close to him, could
be a “dodgy” plan.
You don’t know his reactions.
It may be he’ll explode;
And dump on you the consequence
of his unpleasant load.
At times we have to do it.
There isn’t any choice.
We have to go and say it, to
obey the Master’s voice.
But they are ways of speaking,
which will not make him riled.
The danger is for him to think
you treat him like a child.
So don’t be condescending and
try not to be blunt.
For that will be disaster, when
you and he confront.
You’ll find it’s very easy when
you give the man a gift.
Take responsibility, for your
side of the rift.
Use the sort of language that
he’ll think you’ve told a joke.
Don’t intimidate him; He’s not
that sort of bloke.
Always take the humble route.
It very seldom fails.
Never try to “hammer him” for
he will sense the nails.
Do not beat about the bush, but
do not be too rash.
His anger just might flare up
and give your nose a bash.
Seek to fix the focus, not so
much on what He’s done.
For if you do it nicely, the
angry man is won.
I know this from experience. I
know that it sounds weak.
But if you do it properly, you’ll
come across as meek.
But do not ever lie to him. You’ll
find that if you do,
When the honest truth comes
out, he’ll surely turn on you.
This little bit of wisdom;
please know it isn’t mine.
I’ve found the perfect pattern,
from Jesus Christ Divine.
When the people hurt Him, He
didn’t say a thing.
Even when the lash of tongues,
produced an awful sting.
He didn’t answer anger, He gently
took it all;
Even though all heaven would
answer to His call.
I know it isn’t easy. It is the
humble way.
But if you help your brother,
you’ll seldom hear him say,
That he is disappointed. You
won’t provoke his ire.
Then, trust in the Lord Jesus,
to dispel his angry fire.
This tried and trusted method
will help your faith increase.
You’ll see how very quickly,
you’ll have the Lord’s release.
You’ll find this fellow’s anger
will be under God’s control.
Then trust in the Lord Jesus to
fill body, mind and soul.
Jim Strickland – Written Friday 13th January 2012.
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