DEALING WITH THE ANGRY MAN

Time with Jesus - Friday, 13 January 2012

Hi all,

The majority of people I’ve met do not like confrontation. I’m not too keen on it myself. We want people to like us. In fact we seldom say anything which others may perceive as offensive. So we try to keep a foot in both camps. If Tom and Dick disagree with each other, we don’t want either side to think we are not with them. So we smile and say the “right thing” to both hoping that they won’t check out what we have said to them individually. It’s hypocrisy but we seem to be able to live with it.

We see this sort of thing depicted on many of our TV shows. A group will be discussing something together usually associated with what the boss will do or say. The comments are seldom complimentary. Then, when the boss makes an appearance, we smile politely and suddenly abandon our opinions and go along with the boss. We don’t want to get the boss angry. So we smile at him and pretend that nothing is wrong.

I think this is a fair description of what most people do. We’ve seen it being done from the sidelines. To be honest, I’ve done it myself more times than I care to admit. The problem is fear of the unknown. How many times has your wife said to you, or have you said to your wife, don’t mention that in front of …….. You know how touchy he/she gets when that’s mentioned. So we say nothing.

As husbands and wives we quickly learn what not to say in front of him/her. We begin married life being able to talk about anything and everything. Then, something is said which sparks a bad reaction. So we learn not to speak about that again. It’s helpful to say that we have closed that particular door in a relationship. As we continue to live together, we close more and more doors. Finally we have nothing left to talk about and the marriage fails.

To further complicate this, we find that our spouse gets angry if we keep on coming back to the same thing. In the early days of our marriage, I discovered that if I mentioned something about a particular member of the family, I’d get an angry reaction from Phyllida. Incidentally, she had much the same problem with me! There was a very good recommendation on fireworks. It read, “Light the blue touch paper and stand well back”. So Phyllida and I did our best to keep clear of the “blue touch paper”. If we did, there could be an angry explosion!

The fact remains that we must be able to deal with anger. But how do we do it? Ignoring the problem doesn’t help. We have to learn to do it with tact, patience and humility. We have to learn to be diplomatic in our approach.

What few realise is the Bible has a great deal to say about anger and how to deal with angry people. For instance, what do I say when Phyllida comes home with a new hairdo that looks as though she has been dragged through a bush backwards? I daren’t tell her that it’s hideous. In any case, it’s a perception and we may not agree on this issue. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’d better stop looking!

But there are ways of dealing with an angry man. As a consultant in the power station industry I’ve had to learn how to deal with touchy clients. Today’s meditation looks at this.

Blessings

Jim & Phyllida Strickland.

Dealing With The Angry Man

It’s always hard apologising to an angry man! Even coming close to him, could be a “dodgy” plan. You don’t know his reactions. It may be he’ll explode; And dump on you the consequence of his unpleasant load. At times we have to do it. There isn’t any choice. We have to go and say it, to obey the Master’s voice. But they are ways of speaking, which will not make him riled. The danger is for him to think you treat him like a child. So don’t be condescending and try not to be blunt. For that will be disaster, when you and he confront. You’ll find it’s very easy when you give the man a gift. Take responsibility, for your side of the rift. Use the sort of language that he’ll think you’ve told a joke. Don’t intimidate him; He’s not that sort of bloke. Always take the humble route. It very seldom fails. Never try to “hammer him” for he will sense the nails. Do not beat about the bush, but do not be too rash. His anger just might flare up and give your nose a bash. Seek to fix the focus, not so much on what He’s done. For if you do it nicely, the angry man is won. I know this from experience. I know that it sounds weak. But if you do it properly, you’ll come across as meek. But do not ever lie to him. You’ll find that if you do, When the honest truth comes out, he’ll surely turn on you. This little bit of wisdom; please know it isn’t mine. I’ve found the perfect pattern, from Jesus Christ Divine. When the people hurt Him, He didn’t say a thing. Even when the lash of tongues, produced an awful sting. He didn’t answer anger, He gently took it all; Even though all heaven would answer to His call. I know it isn’t easy. It is the humble way. But if you help your brother, you’ll seldom hear him say, That he is disappointed. You won’t provoke his ire. Then, trust in the Lord Jesus, to dispel his angry fire. This tried and trusted method will help your faith increase. You’ll see how very quickly, you’ll have the Lord’s release. You’ll find this fellow’s anger will be under God’s control. Then trust in the Lord Jesus to fill body, mind and soul. Jim Strickland – Written Friday 13th January 2012.