FRIENDS ARE FEW

Time with Jesus - Friday, 06 January 2012

“And they all lived happily ever after!” At school we occasionally had to read fairy stories. You know, “Hansel and Gretel”, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty; lovely stories. They all seemed to finish well. Everyone was happy. Even Cinderella ended up marrying the prince.

These fairy stories made a lasting impression. As children we concluded that everything would finish well. “Everything’s coming up roses”. But every generation that goes by proves that everything doesn’t come along with a story book ending. My parents were confronted by World War one. I went through World War two. My children lived through Poll Pot and the killing fields of Cambodia. Our grand children are faced with a world that seems to be completely out of control. The myth of the happy ending has been thoroughly discredited. The holocaust is probably the ultimate lesson in unhappy endings. Perhaps “And they all lived unhappily ever after!” is closer to the truth.

Why? There are many answers but only one solution. The solution is knowing Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour. But why do things go wrong? The simple answer is our sin nature which only Jesus Christ can repair. Certainly, Satan is the root problem. But he has achieved much of his success by our mutual distrust of each other. Put simply, we are not willing to befriend each other. This is where racism begins. This is where things start to go wrong.

In the 1950’s, it was not easy for an Englishman to befriend Afrikaners. We couldn’t befriend each other because of what had happened during the Anglo-Boer War. The concentration camps for the Boer Women and Children still loomed large in the memory of many people. I sometimes wonder if perhaps these concentration camps didn’t inspire the Nazi’s to “improve” on their own unique brand of hatred and oppression. Certainly, even as a child I wasn’t always welcome in the homes of some of my Afrikaans speaking friends.

Is this not perhaps the crux of the matter? We don’t know how to befriend each other. The movie “South Pacific” had a song in it that was banned in South Africa. It was called, “Carefully Taught”. It was associated with cross-cultural friendships and marriage. The song included the follow words, “We have to be taught before it’s too late, before we are six or seven or eight, to hate all the people our relatives hate. We have to be carefully taught!” Tragically it’s still true. Even in the New South Africa we struggle to break the race barrier and befriend our brothers and sisters who look different from what we do.

I must confess that I don’t find it easy to befriend men. Part of it is because the usual masculine lifestyle of sex, booze and sport has no appeal to me at all. It never has. Even before I was saved in 1960, these activities were not my scene. So I’m a bit of an oddity. My love is for the Christian lifestyle. My passion is Jesus Christ. As a result I don’t meet many non-Christians. Some will say Jim’s a “Holy Joe”. I hope it’s not true. I struggle with it and try to include others in my circle of friends. But even so, in the past 70 years I’ve not really managed to make the grade with other men. I don’t suppose I ever will.

Blessings

Jim & Phyllida Strickland.

Friends are Few

There has to be a reason why we men have so few friends.       I cannot understand it. Perhaps friendships depend,

On those we’re introduced to, most likely by our wives. But few have long-term friendships that last them all their lives. I know that in reality, men friends are very few. And in my past experience, there’s only one or two. In fact as I look backwards and down through all my years, There’s very few whose passing, would cause me to shed tears. The guys I was at school with, I never will forget; But since I’ve started working, there’s few men I have met, Who’s really been a friend to me. A few have been a pal. But normally I’ve met them as I courted some sweet gal. Of course I’ve met a lot of men. Acquaintances? OK. But very few continue and still are friends today. I wonder if this problem is mine and mine alone? Perhaps I should be thinking, of the way that I’ve been known? The men for me are usually like ships that pass at night. We seldom take the time to pause. We part when it grows light. Of course I’ve met the people my wife has come to know. And they have all been marvellous. In fact they’ve helped me grow. But few of them were friends of mine except by accident. And this is surely not the way that being friends was meant. But there’s someone Who’s special; a friend for fifty years. I met Him as a brash young man; a mass of guilt and fears. I didn’t know what I should do. My life was one big mess. And someone introduced me to a Person Who would bless. He’d make my living purposeful. He looked into my face, And told me what was wrong with me. He said I needed grace. He said He would be with me and stick closer than a brother And since I’ve got to know Him, I’ve found there is no other, Man who wants to know me, as an eternal friend. He said we’d walk together, till time comes to an end. And since I fell in love with Him I’m bored with other men. And we have a relationship that’s far beyond my ken. Perhaps I am unusual? Perhaps I’ve got things wrong? But I’ve not met another man who fills my heart with song. No other human friendship can possibly compare, With walking with my Saviour and knowing He is there. Most men are insipid. Sex and booze and sport, Is not the sort of lifestyle, I ever could support. And if this makes me different, I think I’d rather be, A friend of Christ my Saviour, Who has befriended me. Jim Strickland – Written 5th January 2012.