ENDLESS COMMITMENT

Time with Jesus - 9 Dec 2013

Hi all,

Phyllida and I were in Syria for about 10 months on 1999. I was there to assist with the commissioning of an oil fired power station for PEEGT, the Syrian authority similar to Eskom in RSA. 

J & P Wedding

We were living in Homs, a town much in the news lately in their civil war. We loved the experience. The Syrians are/were an extraordinarily friendly people and we both got on very well with them. About 90% of the people were Muslim. The remaining 10% comprising Greek Orthodox Christians, a number of Jews (this surprised us greatly) and other faiths. At one time, Syria was administered by France, so several French customs were established. 

The big “shock” for Phyllida and I was their call to prayer from the various mosques. 5 times a day the people responded to the call. Most of the men went to the mosque for prayer. Some simply knelt down on their prayer mat in the street and prayed, with their faces toward Mecca. The women were equally devout but not many went to the mosque; too busy with family and other household chores.

Generally speaking, the men don’t mix with the women in public. We found that many events were either all male or all women affairs. This was not strictly enforced because of the influence of the Greek Orthodox women. They were more “liberated” than the Muslim women and tended to mix more readily with the opposite sex. Even so, the men sat together and the women likewise and looked at each other.

We had an opportunity to talk with several Muslim ladies. We wanted to know how they met their husbands. The ladies laughed at the question. Then we were told that in Syria there was no such thing as dating. Usually one of them spoke to their brothers and sisters and expressed an interest in the respective man or woman. 

At that point the young man would visit the parents of the lady and ask their permission to meet, with a possible view to marriage. If the parents agreed, the couple we allowed to meet. However, they were constantly chaperoned by a close member of the “bride’s” family. This was strictly enforced. 

I recall on one occasion when Phyllida and I were invited for dinner at the home of the prospective bridegroom, the “bride’s’ younger brother stuck to the couple like glue. The system was extremely formalised. The young man was expected to propose marriage to the young women and from then on, the two were permitted to meet subject to the presence of the chaperone.

Ark of the Covenant

In many cases, marriages were arranged by the parents of the bride and groom before the couple met. We thought this would be resented by the young man and woman involved. I recall asking if they were happy with this arrangement. We were told her parents knew far better who would make a good husband for her. The idea of choosing someone themselves was thought to be “novel” and not a good idea. 

On reflection, they have a good point. Since the unmarried male/female relationship is so different from what we have in RSA, they are probably correct. They also have a very small divorce percentage so something must be right.

Phyllida and I have thought about and discussed this on many occasions. From personal experience we both “shot ourselves in the foot” when we chose our own wife/husband. We made disastrous choices. Our parents would have made much better choices than we did. As a further complication, we know that if my parents had said anything about the suitability of the woman I planned on marrying, I would have carried on with my intentions anyway! Phyllida says she would have done the same if her mom or brothers had “warned her off”.

We are such contradictory, proud and arrogant people. We fight for our right to be wrong. Furthermore at 20 and 24 years, we know almost nothing about life and what we should be looking for in a marriage partner. We both greatly regret that we didn’t discuss this with our family. If we had, perhaps we would not have made such bad choices.

Since my becoming a marriage officer, Phyllida and I have tried to pass on this wisdom to the couples we have met who want me to join them in marriage. It’s rather difficult. The couples are little different from what we were in the days we first married. To even suggest that they might be about to make a bad choice goes over like a “lead balloon”. So we say very little unless they are looking for information. Then we are in a position to help.

How do we change this? The only way we know is to teach young people what is meant by a Godly marriage. Unfortunately, you can’t start with this when the couple are physically mature. It has to be started while the boys and girls are approaching puberty or earlier. Furthermore, we have to go against the flow of current thought and attitudes toward sex. We live in a country where those who wish to remain chaste until they are married are seen as weirdoes and freaks. Couples “shack up” and live together without being married. Indeed, some couples refuse point blank to have anything to do with marriage.

In essence, the problem is commitment. Many don’t like the idea of being “stuck” to one partner for the rest of life. We must change this perception. We can only do it by example. We must let our children see for themselves living examples of what it means to be in a covenant of marriage. We need to get to the point where a young lady and a young man will say to their parents, “I want a marriage like yours. I want to love and be loved by someone the way the pair of you love each other”! That’s when you will know that parenting has been worthwhile.

Shalom

Jim & Phyllida Strickland 

Matt 10:8 Freely you received, Freely give		Time with Jesus – 9 Dec 2013			Matt 10:8 Freely you received, Freely give
©	These devotionals are the intellectual property of Jim Strickland and copyright protected. You are welcome to copy and distribute them to anyone provided it is for non-commercial Christian purposes					©
INTRODUCTION			DAILY LIGHT EVENING SCRIPTURES	ENDLESS COMMITMENT
Phyllida and I have both been divorced. Subsequently we met and married. It’s not something we are proud of. It’s a statement of fact. We believe that at the root of ours and every other divorce is sin; this combined with youthful ignorance. During adolescent years we know what is right and wrong regardless of the opinions of others, God included! So we married and later broke covenant with our former spouse. Marriage was under attack by Satan and his cronies. It still is. God hates divorce and from personal experience, we also hate it. One reason is it makes a mockery of covenant commitment. We grew up knowing the Bible was in two “parts”; the Old and New Testaments, often called the Old and New Covenants. The associated significance was more or less unknown. We knew divorce was wrong, but had no idea why. Our initial years as Christians did nothing to address our ignorance. If we were asked why divorce was wrong we would say naively, “because God said so”! A good reason, but not an explanation. Then as we started to come to grips with Scripture, we began to get a glimpse of what marriage is all about. It’s about covenantal commitment. Like most young people, we looked at the “quaint” words and practices of the typical wedding ceremony. Why did the bride wear white? Why were rings exchanged? Why did the bride take the husband’s surname? What completely confounded us was that after marriage, the bride and groom became “next of kin”. It was a complete mystery. How could two members of unrelated families become next of kin? Why was there a reception? What about the “honeymoon”? Why were the couple supposed to be virgins? What was the importance of the shedding of blood? To answer all these questions is impossible in the available space here. Sufficient to say, that the couple entered into an unbreakable and everlasting blood covenant commitment. This was not just a fancy legal contract between two people. It was much more than that. From that day on the couple were regarded as one. He was Mr Fred Blogs. She was Mrs Fred Blogs. They were required to lay their lives down for each other. Her blood became the blood of their covenant commitment visible to God. In many instances their respective parents demanded to see the evidence of this. The only way out of a covenant was by death. You didn’t quit. Divorce was impossible. This was marriage in God’s eyes and was permanent. So important is this seen by God that when Phyllida and I married, we were told He would regard us as virgins, in spite of us both being parents. We wept when He told us that. That’s probably the greatest reason why we value marriage so highly. We’ve been forgiven and will never willingly break our marriage covenant! Never again! Jim & Phyllida Strickland			5 "Bring My faithful people to Me--those who made a covenant with Me by giving sacrifices." Psalms 50:5 NLT	Have you made a covenant with God Who reigns on high? Has He reassured you that when it’s time to die, He will draw you to Him? We really need to know. If we are uncertain, then which way will we go? Life is an apprenticeship for us to learn a trade. Not to work for “Brownie Points”, so we can make the grade. That will never happen. Self-effort is a trick, If you try to do it, you’ll founder like a brick When placed into the water. That’s just what God intends. It’s only when you’ve died in Christ, that’s when the Father sends The precious Holy Spirit. He will enable you To do what He has purposed and to His will be true. A covenant is only made when somebody has died. It isn’t all about the way religious folk have tried! You’re saved by cutting covenant. You give your life away. Just like the bride and bridegroom upon their wedding day. No longer are they separate. The two of them are one. Their former independence is finished, dead and gone. Within the bridal chamber, her virgin blood is shed. The marriage consummated, they share the marriage bed, As man and wife together; their singleness behind, They will raise their offspring, the way the Lord designed! They’re called Mr and Mrs and share a common name. Henceforth and for eternity, we see them as the same. Back in the Old Testament, the wife would call him “Lord”. He’d be her protector, defended by his sword! Our covenant with Jesus is very much the same. We give ourselves away to Him and we take on His Name. The blood of the New Covenant by Jesus has been shed. He is now our husband. Our former life is dead. We have no independence and we should call Him “Lord”. But since He’s God almighty, He’s worshiped and adored. We have also promised to honour and obey, Everything that He requires at any time of day. As a “wife” of Jesus, we have no human rights We surrendered all of them. No more are they in sight. We have just one purpose; to serve Him ‘til we die. Nothing’s more important for the likes of you and I. Jim Strickland Written 9th December 2012
			28 so also Christ died once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people. He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for Him. Hebrews 9:28 NLT
			15 That is why He is the One who mediates a new covenant between God and people, so that all who are called can receive the eternal inheritance God has promised them. For Christ died to set them free from the penalty of the sins they had committed under that first covenant. Hebrews 9:15 NLT
			24 Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. John 17:24 ESV
			27 And then he will send out the angels and gather his elect from the four winds, from the ends of the earth to the ends of heaven. Mark 13:27 ESV
			4 Even if you are scattered to the most distant country in the world, the LORD your God will gather you and bring you back from there. Deuteronomy 30:4 GW
			16 For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died will rise from their graves. 17 Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 NLT